cramp:

snapchat sucks because you get to see all the cool stuff people didn’t invite you to as they do it

dicksplit:

*Baby starts crying on a plane*

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allisonwaunderland:

necronovelist:

missjadeegbert:

i almost tagged something as mario and the diamonds

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It’s a-me, primadonna girl!

Feat. Luigi del rey

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nivalingreenhow:

when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires 

blunk182:

DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.

whimsicotten:

cotton guard went wrong

d0nn0:

d0nn0:

i wrote a song about a tortilla

actually its more of a wrap

Eyyyyy, so they finally posted the fanfic! You can read it here. :)

Im so happy, thank you

gogoravenclaw:

dapperfucker:

best of “she wears short skirts”

pant pants

| baby: d-d-d-d
| dad: daddy?
| baby: destroy capitalism
| karl marx: nice

accendas:

i literally dont talk to anyone unless they talk to me first

hollandmartinn:

r0ki:

thatrockerdude:

chabothedino:

cryforce:

thewriterkid:

Fun things to say when someone tells you they’re going to go to the bathroom:

  • Stay safe
  • Congratulations
  • That’s what they all say
  • Different strokes for different folks
  • I hope you have the time of your life
  • But you have so much to live for
  • Please explain
  • think of me
  • Don’t fall in
  • I’ll alert the media
  • Good luck
  • Have fun
  • Mention my name and you’ll get a good seat
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ofw